Paul Medd: A 2nd Bite at the (Big) Apple
30 October
Well, I’m sorry I’ve not posted a blog for such a long time! It’s not through lack of subjects to talk about — quite the opposite! — but because of a lack of time and a badly behaving computer!!
The more time I spend in New York, the more I realise that this is definitely the best thing I’ve done in my life so far. I’m constantly improving and growing as a violinist, musician and human being. As the days are flying past, I’m both challenging myself and am being challenged to do things that I simply wouldn’t get the opportunity to do back home. Mostly these are musical/violin things, but even walking down a New York street constantly poses its own unique situations!
Queens College is becoming very much home, with the friends that I’m making here and in the surroundings. The campus is very beautiful and spacious and is a haven from the constant noise and life that this city radiates 24/7. There are times when I’m sitting in a quiet area that I feel like I’m in the middle of the country — Merlin, Blue Jays, Red Cardinals are a frequent sight, and a walk of 100 metres will involve seeing 15 or so squirrels running around collecting nuts!! My daily walk into college also has a great view of midtown Manhattan with the Empire State and Chrysler buildings in plain view.
I’m making a lot of really great friends too, and my social life is not only restricted to going to a bar on a Friday night! I’m always being shown new Jazz venues that I never realised were there and I’ve even been taken to see a concert of Barber and Beauty shop quartets. A few weeks ago I found myself at Rue Maclanahans’ book signing (she was Blanch in the Golden Girls)!! Even a journey on the subway can be an entertaining experience, with break dancers, mariachi bands, folk and rock singers and religious lectures moving from carriage to carriage “relieving” the monotony of the journey in and out of the city!! I give myself the occasional day off practise by rewarding myself with either a walk round an area I’ve never been or a more specific “tourist” destination such as the Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park or a museum.
I recently went to the very large American Museum of Natural History where I saw reconstructed dinosaur fossils, American Indian artefacts and a fantastic planetarium, to name just a few of the highlights — am I working for the tourist information or what?!
Of course the main reason I’m here is to study, and studying I certainly am!! I have previously never practised for 6 hours in a day, but this is now a very regular occurrence and I feel my playing is already reaping the benefits. My confidence has really grown as I am becoming a more assured player, and I’m able to make sometimes difficult musical decisions — about my own pieces, in orchestra and in chamber music — without question. I have now been made “concertmaster” of the college orchestra for the rest of the term and almost certainly for the rest of the year. Before I arrived here the thought of this would have terrified me, but through my hard work and determination to contain my nerves, I have managed a fair amount of concerts without “giving in” to them. I have taken sectional rehearsals, since the conductor, Maurice Peress, is taking advantage of the fact that he has a professional orchestral player on his hands!!! We are currently rehearsing for a concert on the 29th of October. We’re performing Bernstein’s Candide Overture, Poulenc’s Concerto for two pianos and Schumann’s 4th Symphony (I have a fairly large solo in the 2nd movement!). There are still many problems with the orchestra, and I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall when I suggest ways to play a passage and all I get is blank, bored and disbelieving faces staring back! They’re all younger players and egos have a big hold on their playing — “what does a 36 year old violinist know that I don’t?” I’m not answering that question!!
My lessons with Daniel Phillips are simply amazing. I’m really starting to understand his vision of violin playing and teaching. (If this goes up soon, his quartet are playing all the Beethoven Quartets in the new Kings Place concert hall in London). I am, thanks to his encouragement, becoming addicted to the Dounis Collection. Some of the exercises can be exceptionally difficult to execute — at times it feels like patting your head, rubbing your tummy and then juggling with your feet! My “favourites” are ones that involve holding a note down (without playing it), whilst playing double stop passages on two strings and then plucking the remaining string with the remaining left hand………….? It looks like this:
Believe me, struggling with a few of these for just 20 minutes really makes you feel like you could play anything!!!!
I’m still working on the Glazunov Concerto along with the Bach D minor Partita and I’m making great progress with both of them: I’m well on my way to being able to play the whole concerto, and the Chaconne from the Partita is sounding great!! Mr Phillips really expects high standards and I’m not letting him down!! I’m starting to play at a level I never thought I could.
Alongside orchestra and my lessons, I have to do chamber music and something called String Rep class. My chamber music group consists of myself and a cellist called Alex!! There is a distinct lack of viola players, so there is a surprising lack of string quartets going around!! Alex and I are having a stab at the Ravel Duo, which is very difficult both technically and musically, but we’re trying our best!! String Rep class is basically a chance to perform whatever you want in front of the whole string department. It’s a very tense class, as when you’ve finished your piece/s the class then comment on your performance!! Most are very complimentary, but there are a few who really like to speak their minds and almost give a master class on how they would do it!!!!! My turn is on Tuesday the 28th and December 2nd; I’m playing a couple of movements of Bach on the 28th. Fingers and toes crossed for me on that day please — I’m 5 hours behind here, so I guess start crossing at 9:40pm please!!!
Because of the reputation I’m starting to get, I’m in demand!! I’ve been asked to do so many things that I’ve really had to say no to a most of them! I’ve performed in a Bach cantata for a fantastic singer, I’m playing the opera Lucia di Lammermoor for charity at the Symphony Space in Manhattan in a few days, and then I’m helping out a girl with her final recital by playing in a trio for trumpet, violin and piano by a modern composer called Ewasen. Sadly I had to say no to a “gig” for the opening of a new clothes boutique where I would’ve improvised on the violin whilst walking amongst celebrities and people with money!!
I live very close to Queens College; in fact my apartment is directly opposite! I’m pretty comfortable and I’ve got my room feeling like home. My room mate, Charlie, has a cat called Mr Pickles. I’m a real cat lover so I was disappointed when he behaved in a very scared and shy manner! Of course I really only had to spend money on him in order to win him around, so a tub of cat-nip and a toy later…….well you can see the results!! Now I get an “audience” with him every day and he no longer sprints away when he sees me!!
I hope you can see that I’m really starting to “find” myself here, and all the things I came here to deal with are starting to develop in a way that has taken me completely by surprise. Here are some more photos of college, friends and New York City.
7 September
Well here’s the second instalment! I arrived in New York on the 21st of August and I can’t believe it’s already the 3rd of September! It’s taken this long to get where I am today and it’s going to take even longer to get remotely settled!
Where do I start?! Well, I arrived at the hotel which was in Queens-Elmhurst to be exact! On the map it looked pretty close to Queens College, but in reality it took approximately 45 minutes to get there! That’s one thing that hadn’t escaped me, but even still, New York is huge!! A lot of us have visited Manhattan before and thought that was big, but NYC is made up of 5 boroughs including Manhattan, and these are big cities in their own right!!
Anyway, I registered as an international student as soon as I arrived and was then sent to the medical centre as my vaccination form was incomplete. Although I had mumps and measles when I was a child, my doctor in Glasgow couldn’t prove this from my records, so I was given an MMR vaccination at the medical centre!!!!! I wasn’t expecting a needle in my arm to be one of the first things to happen to me when I arrived!! I then had pretty much the whole weekend off and treated myself to NYC experiences: seeing the view from the top of the Rockefeller centre, a stroll in Central Park, drinks in Greenwich Village, various trips to areas in Queens (Jackson Heights and Flushing) and lots of just wandering around! The weather here has been hot since I arrived and set to stay that way for a while yet!! Sorry, I’ve heard Britain isn’t quite having the summer we would want!!
On the Monday I had to do two exams: one in Music History and one in Theory. I haven’t done an exam since I was at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama! I managed to pass these two exams, despite my complete lack of knowledge about figured bass! But when I went to see my Graduate Advisor the next day I was informed that as I am only here for two semesters, I could only complete a course called Advanced Performance Certificate, which means no written courses at all!!!!! Phew!! I’m really only here to improve my playing and learn to deal with my nerves, so I was relieved! The MA would have involved far too much course work and would have denied me valuable time to practise.
I have four “subjects” to complete: violin lessons, orchestra, chamber music and performance classes. The orchestra here isn’t very good — in fact, compared to British student standards, it’s appalling! Sight-reading is just not taught here. Our first concert is on the 24th of September and it’s going to be an interesting experience! We’re playing Aaron Copland’s Appalachian Spring, Ravel’s Piano concerto in G and La Valse. A tough programme for any professional orchestra! I’m Principal 2nd violin for this concert and I’m having to almost spoon-feed the rest of the section. No one has ever told them that the person on the outside of the desk plays the top line and the inside plays the bottom! God only knows what will happen when there are three lines! Anyway, I’m confident that I can really help these kids to learn the ins and outs of orchestral technique.
This weekend (29th-1st of September) has been Labor Day weekend, which is basically a long bank holiday starting on Friday. I haven’t paid my fees yet, due to lack of a bank account, so I don’t have a Queens College student card and wasn’t able to get into college to practise (shame!!!). So I took a holiday too!! On the Saturday I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art where I had a major overload of wonderful art — not ANOTHER Picasso!! Haven’t I seen that Monet painting already!! How on earth did they get that temple in here!! You get the picture (no pun intended!)
On the Sunday I braved a 2 hour subway journey to Coney Island, where I walked along the boardwalk, rode the Cyclone rollercoaster, and ate many delicious seaside delicacies: corn on the cob, Nathan’s famous hot-dogs, shrimp (large tiger prawns to you and me), cold clams — very delicious, I must add — and a huge tub of fresh pineapple. I was really impressed by this rather grungy, run-down resort and was very disappointed to hear that the famous Astroland amusement park is to be demolished starting this Thursday. At first, I thought I’d arrived at Blackpool, but soon realised that although there were the same tacky stalls, it really had a character I’ve never come across. Sadly I never made it to the freak show (sounds worse than it actually is, apparently!). In the evening I headed back to Queens where I met Jennifer, a girl from college, in a bar in the predominantly Irish area, Woodside. It was wonderful to hear some traditional music, and I joined in with a few dances!! On the Monday I was invited to a barbecue by a friend of a brother’s friend!! Today I discovered I had been eaten alive by the mosquitoes that obviously liked Yorkshire blood, and am constantly applying hydrocortisone cream!!!!!
I have had some amazing experiences so far — long may they keep coming! Elmo has made a few more appearances on the streets of Manhattan! But along with the good times, there are some times when I miss home and the familiarities of home. The feeling of being homesick is one of the worst feelings I’ve ever encountered. I can be walking along the street and I’ll just burst into tears! When things go a little pear-shaped, the thought of getting on a plane and coming back to friends and family can be overwhelming. I’ve just moved into an apartment opposite college (very handy) and it’s not precisely what I wanted: I only have a pair of curtains separating my personal area and the rest of the flat! That is getting rectified, so don’t worry! The young lad that has the bedroom, Charlie, is very nice — a good laugh and trustworthy — but hasn’t grasped the idea of sanitary cleanliness! I’m going to have to don a pair of rubber gloves and scrub for Britain soon!!! One upside is that Charlie owns a beautiful Russian blue cat called Mr Pickles — he’s shy, but I’ll strike up a relationship soon! Getting a bank account in this country seems to be a rite of passage, along with looking bored and uninterested on the subway! I have my room, and one would think that was enough; but no, leases need to be signed and proof is needed in the form of blood it seems! Everything takes time I guess and I’ve discovered I’m rather impatient!
Just in case anyone thinks I’m here having a nice holiday I HAVE done a lot of practise!! I’m working on the Glazunov concerto and Bach’s D minor Partita. I have to perform three times each semester in the string performance classes, which is going to be difficult nerves-wise, but I’ve made it this far and I’m not going to chicken out yet!
People are some of the friendliest I’ve met; free drinks at a bar are something that has happened to me a couple of times!!! Folk at college are starting to talk to me too and I don’t think it’ll be too long before I make some good friends.
On a lighter note, I have to audition for the orchestra tomorrow!! Hysterical!!!
You’ll hear from me soon when I have settled in more, and hopefully I will have stopped itching by then!!!!
19th August
Well I've never done a blog, but here goes!
It's now less than 2 weeks to go until I jet off to the Big Apple and I'm feeling a rollercoaster of emotions! If I'd known what I know now about what you have to go through to get this far would I still go through with it?! Short answer-no, long answer- a definite yes! I've coped with an amazing amount of personal hurdles, from wondering "Actually, do I want to do this?" to queuing in front of the American Embassy at half 7 on a Thursday morning convincing myself that they're not going to give me a visa!
I've learned more about myself over the last few months and I've come to the conclusion that it's all pretty much related to the problem that causes my stage fright. Practically, the way I've dealt with the move has been how I originally planned it- everything one stage at a time! But I never quite realised how much some stages would emotionally challenge me. Actually making the decision to go after visiting New York was THE hardest emotional hurdle. I still wonder why! I think I went over with a totally different idea than the practicalities! New York is fabulous city to visit, but the reality and enormity of actually living there hit me like a tonne of bricks when I visited, for a couple of days I just wasn't getting that NY feeling. I was a complete mess! And then whilst walking back to the hotel on West 51st Street my friend Craig pointed out something that instantly jolted me out of my negative thoughts- Elmo from Sesame Street! Not a cute child's toy, but a man dressed in an Elmo costume! Even that would have made me laugh, but the man's body language under the suit was of complete lethargy! Elmo's grinning face and lovely red fur was hilarious in man size, but the plodding walk and the hanging knuckles of the man underneath reduced me to hysterics. I turned to Craig and instantly said "I'm doing it!" Thanks Elmo!
Other emotional problems rear their ugly heads more frequently than I ever imagined. Basically it's down to one thing which I can now admit freely- even to complete strangers on the street- that I THINK WAY TOO MUCH! I have already thought the worst before it even happens! This, I can see now, is THE most important thing with the battle of the nerves- on stage; I convince myself that I'm going to panic at certain points in a piece before they've even happened. I'm not sure what to do with that piece of information yet, but over the next year, hopefully, it'll become clear.
*****************
Well all the above was written a week ago and I've just finished my
last concert with the RSNO for 11 months! I've never openly cried on
stage before, but tonight during the final 10 minutes tears were
streaming down my face. I've spent the last 2 weeks saying goodbye to
people and tonight the emotion finally hit me. I've had many "leaving
do's" and have had a lot of laughs (seeing the 2nd violin section with
glitter hats on dancing to Frank Sinatra's New York song is an image I
will never forget!) but it's now finally down to me and I can't wait
for the challenges that will come my way at the "other side"! The next
time you hear from me will be with a mouthful of cheesecake and root
beer!
Ps Thanks to Ruth Caldwell for restoring my violin so beautifully- it's stunning.